The year 1989, I would remember it as the year of submission, many events in the "store of fate" were unleashed this year. Kitin activity was rather in a latent state, both T Rimba and UKM played the "wait and see" games, but KBSM phenomenon was really very intense. Jobs with DBP were equally intense, but there were no time line to be matched; and the most sorrowful event that carved a mark on an ordinary life cycle occurred this year. Zainah of MPM still needed my contribution, the Qs needed touch-up after being referried; it was only in January.

Published Jan 1989	Published Nov 1989
On a data collection mission in Templer Park to furnish Chapter 4 of KBSM2: Saling Bersandaran Antara Benda Hidup dengan Alam Sekitar.

The new year was actually unmarked as KBSM2 works with Rashidi were in top gear since last November. KBSM1 made its appearance on Jan 28 Sat. We heard on Feb 14 Tue that KBSM2 would also be through, thus as PAP was not in any better experience than DPI, Rashidi and I were in full alert for any shortcoming from the rumouredly elusive PAP. Dr TS was with us, but he did not change very much since last year, so we bought him out in April at a cost of 2 kRM for "mistakenly" included his name in the proposal. And that was about six weeks after we knew the proposal's fate on Feb 14 Tue; and so did DPI's. PAP had never published a science book before, and what more demanding was a highly progressive KBSM book. Its untold inadequacies in editorial and graphic machinery tossed us up in despair. In all cases, we had to do it ourselves, including sizing the photographs for the illustrations. And those were after we ourselves searched all the needed illustrations which I acquired legally from many places like foreign embassies, local manufactures like Nestle and New Zealand Milk Products; public institutions like PERHILITAN's HQ in Cheras (where I met my SAS70 mate Jasmi Abdul), MARDI in Serdang, Family Development Authority, etc. They were unexpectedly very cooperative indeed, especially the British High Commission. And also included the materials we "composed" ourselves from the daily activities which we set out to search for them, like ploughing the fields, the science and technology on the set like the power cable and the cable and pipes being laid; the animals in the zoo. The scribing, corrections, editing, and all those extra-streneous jobs were carried out days and night until our mind were preconditionally set that our eyes became blind towards common errors. At that point, PAP had no choice but to employ different persons altogether. It took Amran of DBP for the editorial and Radzi from OUP for the graphic. We made it and KBSM2 appeared on Nov 6 Mon. Running concurrently was KBSM3 whose briefing was held on Jul 22.

Published March 1989

Published Jul 1989

I applied for a sabbatical leave for six months from April 1, proposing to write a physical chemistry manuscript. In mid March the application was turned down by the Academic DVC Prof Shahrir; he advised me instead to embark on a research programme. With time running short to arrange for the embarkation, I took an apathic attitude the message of which was read by the DVC. With a formality of an appeal, the leave was approved as I wanted, to end on Dec 31. That gave me a very big coordinate to move around. I planned a title "A Cross-Section of Physical Chemistry", the hard materials of which were collected only in October, assembled in November, keyed-in in December and would be published by PAP the following year, obligately free of charge, 250 copies. But the report was duely submitted on time when I return to office in Jan 1990.

In DBP, "Kimia Tak Organik" was in the press and appeared on Jul 3 Mon. Running concurrently was "Kimia Organik", in the gallei stage, ready in late Jul, the illustrations of which were ferried by Amran for verification. Amran also gave me jobs of reading mss, one in this year a polymer mss authored by an MU lecturer.

Alyani, published, errr, errr, I mean, err, errr, born on Apr 28 Fri

Around the residence, more houses were built, in particular Dr Osman Hassan and his group at neighbouring lot to eventually contain ten houses. Four of them settled down this year, from as early as January; and there were more events that took place at home and around home, known only to close acquaintances like Rashidi; all of these were interwoven in the already fast pace of KBSM. When the school reopened on Jan 3 Tue, Rubaini was in Year 5, Malini in Year 3, and Zidni began his schooling life with a kindergarten at Taski Damai (Aishah) in BB Jln 2/2B. In contrast to Malini he was rather slow in pushing into a new life although he could already read and write. To supposedly reduce the transport problem, we enrolled Rubaini, on Jan 5 Thu, in Sg Merab SRA. It was an error and we rectified it the following year (back to SRA BBB). Azizah needed a prenatal examination beginning mid Feb. Prevalent situation, especially traffic, prevented any advantage at all for a re-engagement with her previous O&G Dr Ariffin in PMC, so we checked in Kajang Specialist Maternity Hospital with its O&G Dr Balakrishnan. In March she developed a black-spotted vision and that worried her very badly. This led us to Subang MC on Mar 13 Mon to see the ophthalmologist, then the same kind of visit to Tun Hussin Onn Eye Hospital, twice on Mar 24 Fri and Mar 29 Wed, and Kajang's Ng Clinic on Mar 16 Thu. Surprisingly all three specialist gave different verdict; while the first two said it would normalise, the third gave a very frightening verdict: it's going to stay like that but not to blind; and it was different verdict from that of our family doctor, Dr Hayati who said it was due to vitamin deficiency. Rashidi and his partner Mustafa tried very hard to help us around the house, one day Mar 24 Fri, up to far mid-night. Ramadan 1409 set in on Apr 8 Sat, and twenty days later, Apr 28 Fri, Azizah delivered a baby girl, the first Sg Merab baby, Siti Alyani. As the baby grew up, Azizah "returned to normal", and her eyes? Well, the non eye specialist family doctor was right. Her normal vision returned, but very sensitive to vitamin intake. During the delivery period Azizah got the helping hand of Murni, and close to the due date, Zubaidah's family, on their home eid-trip from Lumut, popped in for about ten days. We were not short of helps. The Eid 1409 was on May 6 Sat, and this was the first time we spent the eid in Sg Merab. Since all the residents here were "settlers", the eid was very quiet indeed. So did the eid adha on Jul 10 Thu. But on this day I visioned a Haj was performed on behalf of my late father for whom I arranged to be carried with my cousin Zali who went there on June 15 Thu.

I could go home to my mother only on Jul 24 Monday, during the school second term break; Alyani then was about a hundred days old. It was almost seven months since I last saw my mother. She was very delighted to see Alyani and she could understand why I could not be home for the past seven months. While laying on her bed she asked to hold Alyani. But when I told her that I had just arranged for the "proxy Haj" for my father, she was rather unhappy. At that moment she uttered words which I could understand, as my father was, that she was very happy to go, but very sad to leave, the latter of which I asked her to clarify: it was AdikAni and AdikJo who were in their teens. And as she would expect, I made a solemn promise to her that I would take care and bring up both of them to my utmost ability and capability together with my children. On the day I was leaving for Bangi, on Aug 4 Fri, I tried very hard to convince her that I hope I would be back soon to see her in better condition. But obviously she was very much wiser and knowledgeable. She said that its up to God to determine whether to bestow another meeting between a mother and her son. I hugged her while she was laying and I went off; this is the first time she did not send me to the door steps when I was leaving, and that was because she was very weak indeed.

Aug 20 Sun, I returned home again, with all children, and also AdikAni who I picked up in MPI Jln Pantai Baru for AbangRa phoned this morning that my mother had a (terminal) stroke last night in the bath. She was motionless, apparently paralysed, and speechless. Everything then had to be done on her, and AdikMek and AdikHah were of great help. I was sure that she still recognised me; I told her that I was leaving her, on Friday 25, while her eyes opened although in great pain. And I returned home again on Sep 1 Fri, alone by bus, to be with my mother. She had deteriorated, rarely opened the eyes or moving the lips. Very weak and almost motionless, she was given the water by a wetted cotton bud on her lips. I reckoned that she had not recognised any body then. I was so undecided to leave her on Sun Sep 3, added by the strong migraine I was suffering; given lift by Abdullah Ngah, my kampung-mate friend since boyhood to the bus station, I left my mother on the 9.30pm bus. Apparently that was my last day with my mother. It was a destiny that my last day day with my mother was between two of us, it was without my wife and children.

It was Wed night Sep 13, I was in DBP with the full team of KBSM: my partner Rashidi, the editorial team Amran and his mate Rashid, and even Aman himself. We were on CRC of KBSM2 (leaving for a while KBSM3) for the final submission. At about 9.30pm, my brother Num popped in the DBP compound, telling me that my mother had returned to RahmatuLlah at about 8 pm today. I gave a call to my wife to pack; my brother would pick up AdikAni at MPI (Pantai Bharu) and a rendezvous at Gombak toll plaza; at about mid-night we were en route to Terengganu. We reached home shortly after nine the next day, Thur Sep 14, (giving an alert when we reached Dungun at about 8am). It was a lot less adventurous than the trip I was making on the night of my father's burial in 1972 which I missed. Many people were already visiting and waiting for us, AbangRa, AdikJo and almost all my mother's relatives from Mengabang Telung and Mengabang Panjang, especially MakChik Yam (Mak Long Su was herself bed-ridden). They were waiting for us to have the last look. I wept in my heart because my mother and I 'knew' and 'shared' many things each other since I was a little boy. AdikAni wept and hugged her, and all my children kissed her; and then I gave the word go with the preparation. By about mid-day my mother was laid to rest, in the graveyard near our home, led to complete furnish by my cousin, Utz Soh Mak Teh, beside my father who led seventeen years ago. I stayed until Monday Sep 18, meeting the relatives who come non-stop to visit us; probing things to do to continue in my mother's absence; paying all the dues to my mother for the past twenty seven days; made my courtesy visit to relatives in Mengabang Telung, where I re-narrated to MakLong Su; and finally the move to begin to fullfill my solemn promise to my mother: AdikAni would go on with the MPI training to finish (till Dec 1990) and kicks from the teaching posting. AdikJo would continue to stay at home with either AdikMek or AdikHah untill his SPM in Nov this year, then he would come to stay with us in Sg Merab, then see what would lead from the SPM.

The traumatic effects was greatly masked by the jobs to be continued to be done after that. Mansur Embong (Jeram) ushered us a used (WBB1667) Mitshubishi Pajero; when we see it on Sun Sep 24 my children decided it for me (it belonged to Besar Ngah, a former SMKPM - SASian, one year senior; retrenched BBMB senior manager); in which the first trip was a long home trip on Thu Nov 16 via Sitiawan (accompanied by Zizah's parent from Trg - a two nights stopover at Zubaidah's place), Grik (Pengkalan Hulu), the East-West Highway, and Kota Bharu.

My father built his home in about 1950 on this land he bought from MakNgah who inherited from their father about sixty years ago. The land and the house now inherited by my sister on which she built her home with her cousin-husband. Once upon a time, their fathers were the children who grew up in a home built on this land.

During this home-coming also I made every body to be home (only my younger brother Num, the rest all were staying at home then) to settle once and for all among my brothers and sisters whatever left to us by our parents, the faraid way. It was Sun Dec 19 night. AbangWi and AyahLi were called to witness and I 'chaired' after getting all the facts and the methods clear from Utz Soh (whom I visited at his home in the afternoon): It was a compound from my father's passing in 1972 Feb, followed by my sister Akmam's passing in 1987 Apr, leaving a daughter. With the motive to keep the situation as it was to continue without any discomforting after-effects, my younger brother Num and I relinquished our parts to be given to anyone who needed in order to achieve the 'status quo'. In the solution, the padi land in Titian Hj Ahmad (the land my father inherited from his father and my brother and I helped my father a lot to grow the padi) was to be divided equally to AdikMek and AdikHah the way they liked (for then they were staying in their own homes at their husbands' places). The land of our home was to be divided into three parts, the first part was for my elder brother where he had already erected a house, and the other two parts together with our home once was (and the site of homes of my father's father), was to be equally owned by AdikAni and AdikJo (which they would settle among themselves later on). Perhaps I was given the privilage of winning the trust of all my brothers and sisters. I did not hear anything said about it after that from them or from anybody.

Back to Bangi, KBSM3 was submitted on Tue Oct 24, the news that it went through came on Wed Dec 27; while KBSM2 was well in the printing line (Rashidi and I went to see it ourselves on Mon Oct 23 in Salak South). The sabbatical report was wrapped in a manuscript and ready for submission early next year; it would be in printed form later.

Dec 4 School reopened. The beginning of two-semesters system (replacing traditional 3-terms Jan-Nov session), two 'long' breaks in between semester, and a break in each semester. Rubaini was in her final year at this school - to Nov 1990 - year 6; in Dec 1990 she would move on to the secondary school; and Malini was in her Year 4, evening session. Zidni went to his Year 1, SRK BBB Jalan 2, (pre registered on Thu Nov 30 - morning session like Rubaini). The SRA matters went on in parallel. By the year end we had all AdikJo's belongings moved (arrived from Trg on Sun Dec 3), including the C70 TJ1160 which my mother bought soon after Rubaihah's wedding in Aug 1984. With Pajero in service, I sent TD7419 for engine overhaul and repaint, a repay for the car's constant reliable service since March 1983, especially during the time I needed it not to be without; and Alyani would grow in the car.

 

Painstaking edition dated May 19, 2003